All Episodes

with The Paradox of Change

Can infidelity be wrong but understandable is a complex question that therapist Elliot Burgess and Lottie Passell-Syms delve into in this deep dive discussion. For men in a sexless marriage, the lack of intimacy can lead to emotional disconnection and touch deprivation, also known as skin hunger. Th

with The Paradox of Change

Can we understand why an affair happens? What are the precursors we're often blissfully unaware of, and who's responsible once the realisation hits? A therapist's view. Lottie and Elliot break down a scene from Hope Gap: a husband who has been unhappy for 29+ years, and the moment he finally finds

with The Paradox of Change

She Wants Everything But Gives Nothing | FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVWhAzFXiro In this episode, therapists Elliot and Lottie go deep on one of the most painful dynamics in modern marriage: when one partner pulls away from intimacy but still wants all the benefits. This is

with The Paradox of Change

You responded to our last few episodes about Sexless Relationships, in a way we didn't expect. Thousands of comments. Hundreds of stories. Some of them stopped us mid-session.This week, Elliot and Lottie sit down to read and respond to YOUR comments - the ones that were raw, unfiltered, and at times

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

If sex is off the table but the loyalty, the dinners, the emotional availability are still expected - something in your relationship has fundamentally broken down. And, nobody is talking about it honestly. In this episode, therapists Elliot and Lottie go deep on one of the most painful dynamics

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

We explore the painful reality of "forced celibacy" and the emotional distance that often precedes a sexless relationship. Using a classic scene from American Beauty as a jumping-off point, we discuss how couples often lose their connection to each other long before the intimacy stops. You may also

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

"I want sex. Just not with you." If you've ever heard those words - or felt them The Sexless Relationship - this episode is for you. Lottie, Elliot and Salossie sit down for an honest, no-blame conversation about what actually happens inside a relationship when desire for your partner disappears. T

with The Paradox of Change

This episode explores the profound feelings of a "midlife awakening" and the emotional toll when "something is missing" despite years of effort. We discuss how individuals can feel like a "lost soul" or even "lost in life," questioning their purpose and endeavors. The conversation delves into the ex

with The Paradox of Change

We explore the emotional toll of feeling insignificant and neglected in relationships, especially when a partner's attention is elsewhere. This video offers crucial relationship advice on navigating these delicate situations and understanding the complex relationship dynamics at play. We delve into

with The Paradox of Change

We explore how unspoken resentment between partners, often stemming from initial agreements about roles like earning money versus childcare, can erode the foundation of a marriage. This discussion offers relationship advice on the critical need for open communication and the importance of adapting e

with The Paradox of Change

This week's discussion explores the nuanced dynamics of relationships, focusing on the efforts and desires within partnerships. We consider how open communication about feelings and expectations serves as crucial relationship advice for couples navigating their journey. Understanding the intricacies

with The Paradox of Change

Click the link to the full episode!!! We explore the nuanced dynamics of relationships, focusing on the interplay of emotional intimacy and physical connection. This conversation addresses how vasopressin and oxytocin influence bonding, highlighting the complexities of intimacy in marriage. We discu

with The Paradox of Change

We explore the reality of a sexless marriage (dead bedroom) and the silent pain of couples experiencing emotional and physical disconnection. Through raw, honest insights, we dissect how unspoken resentments, fear of rejection, and societal expectations can erode intimacy over time, and we offer pra

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When Is Withholding Sex Considered Infidelity? A Deep Dive into Trust, Betrayal, and Boundaries Previous episode: https://youtu.be/MG3loOd1il0 We explore the complex nature of infidelity and betrayal in relationships, focusing on whether withholding sex for non-medical reasons qualifies as infidelit

with The Paradox of Change

When we think of "cheating," we usually think of a third party. But what happens when the betrayal occurs within the couple through the intentional withdrawal of intimacy? In this episode, Wall and Tal dive deep into the "unspoken contract" of relationships. We explore the complex nature of emotion

with The Paradox of Change

Is your partner there, but not really there? That's the silence at the heart of a sexless marriage. In this Deep Dive, Lottie and Elliot unpack why one partner withdraws physically, and why the other's attempts to reconnect keep missing the mark. Using the iconic "I want you to want to do the dishes

with The Paradox of Change

If your marriage is sexless, when did you stop showing up for it? Most people inside a sexless marriage spend their energy pointing outward. At their partner's low libido. At the rejection. At the slow, painful withdrawal of desire. But what if the harder truth is that you helped build this? What if

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In this candid conversation, we find ourselves at the Psychology Network Symposium in Washington, D.C., where two individuals discuss their experiences. The excitement is palpable among the 5,000 delegates, listening to experts on topics from nutrition to relationship dynamics. This gathering highli

with The Paradox of Change

What actually happens when sex disappears from a relationship, and why is it so hard to talk about? In this deep dive, therapist Lottie and Elliot go beyond the surface and into the real psychological dynamics behind sexless marriages: unresolved conflict, contempt, shame, and the moment a couple qu

with The Paradox of Change

Cheating or sexless? When one partner takes sex off the table, what happens to the other? In this Walk & Talk, therapists Lottie and Elliot unpack one of the most painful dilemmas couples face — forced celibacy in a committed relationship, loosing limerence and why it so often leads to affairs. We

with The Paradox of Change

In our last "Walk and Talk," as therapists, we broke down the quiet devastation of the Love Actually necklace scene https://youtu.be/z0PR4-GNlDE. But for many men, discovering cheating, doesn't look like quiet tears, it looks like shock - it changes us. We analyse the opening scene of 'This Is Wher

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Are You My Partner or My Project? Understanding Power Dynamics in Relationships This episode explores the subtle yet impactful patterns of dominance, control, and vulnerability within intimate partnerships. If you've ever wondered how these dynamics shape your relationship or hold you back from auth

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We explore the nuanced process of conscious uncoupling, HOW TO LET GO respectfully, intentionally when splitting up or divorce, and with growth at the core. Drawing from therapeutic insights, we uncover how deep self-awareness, empathy, and healthy boundaries transform separation into an opportunity

with The Paradox of Change

Discover how to navigate the emotional turmoil of infidelity or cheating, with clarity and purpose. Therapist Elliot guides you through five crucial questions to ask yourself after discovering an affair, helping you determine whether to repair the relationship or move on. Learn to interpret your pai

with The Paradox of Change

In this episode, Lottie discusses the often unspoken issue of sexless relationships, emphasising that the lack of intimacy is more about emotional safety and connection than physical desire. She explores how both men and women experience shutdowns in intimacy, often due to emotional imbalances and u

with The Paradox of Change

We dive into the struggles of self trust and the impact of cognitive behavioral therapy when facing personal crises. The speaker discusses the dissonance experienced when previous assumptions about self-judgment are challenged. This internal conflict affects decision making and emotional healing, hi

with The Paradox of Change

Lottie and Elliot talk about being Blindsided by Betrayal: Navigating the Aftermath of the Affair (Ongoing from our 'We Talk Cheating' ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0PR4-GNlDE&t=196s It's Divorce Month and the hardest month of the year... TED TALK - Rethinking Infidelity: https://www.youtube

with The Paradox of Change

The Playbook: Are you a counsellor that wants to level up and start the on the road to couples work, then this is for you... The Comprehensive Guide to Working with Couples 2026 It’s your ticket to starting to work with couples or significantly improving your confidence when it comes to working wit

with The Paradox of Change

Lottie and Elliot have talk about infidelity and the psychology from the famous LOVE ACTUALLY scene that has sparked some interesting conversation of our own Mental Health - Infidelity and cheating. We plan 2026 episodes and say goodbye to 2025 Takeaways Infidelity can change the entire dynamic of

with The Paradox of Change

Was there a real relationship to begin with??? This discussion addresses the challenging realities of "involuntary celibacy" and "male celibacy", exploring the biological and "genetics" aspects from a male perspective. We consider how these situations impact individual experiences and the broader l

with The Paradox of Change

This conversation highlights the importance of strong `relationships` and offers `relationship advice` for navigating common challenges. We discuss effective `communication` within `couples`, providing `life advice` that emphasizes a healthy mindset to support better `mental health`. These `relation

with The Paradox of Change

This discussion explores the multifaceted nature of "female sexuality," contrasting it with previous conversations about men. We examine the concept of "desire" and how it manifests in "relationships," emphasizing the "sexual needs" of women. The conversation aims to foster a deeper understanding of

with The Paradox of Change

5 Key skills to talk to your partner! This episode explores how to cultivate a truly "safe place" for others by practicing unconditional positive regard and eliminating "judgement". Drawing on "psychology" principles and the insights of "Carl Rogers", we discuss fostering deep "emotional security".

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

Are you struggling to understand why your wife has stopped wanting you? This is a common issue in many relationships, often leading to a dead bedroom and a sexless marriage. We cover more relationship problems and cover other aspects like how to fix a sexless marriage. According to experts like Or

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

Elliot Burgess shares five essential Relationship Skills for building deeper, healthier relationships. These skills include listening to learn, empathy, unconditional positive regard, trust, and being robust. Each skill is explained with practical examples and advice on how to implement them in dail

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

Lottie, our resident relationship experts dives into the monogamous challenges when intimacy is taken away from the relationship!

with The Paradox of Change

Is a relationship without bedroom intimacy a dealbreaker or can couples survive long-term without physical connection? 🛑 In this episode, experienced relationship therapist Lottie and host Elliot dive deep into bedroom intimacy challenges, intimacy barriers**, and what really happens when one part

with The Paradox of Change

Your couples therapy and relationship advice channle hosted by three experienced therapists. We believe there has to be an I before We. @natalieswannner This episode of Non-Manogomy explores the depths of **grief** and how it impacts our **relationships**, especially during the **healing journey**

with The Paradox of Change

Lottie Passell-Syms and Natalie Wanner explore the complexities of OPEN relationships, communication, and intimacy. They discuss the impact of past trauma on current relationships, the dynamics of low desire, and the importance of accountability and radical acceptance in navigating intimacy. You may

with The Paradox of Change

3 therapists with over a decade of experience shares why common **relationship advice** often falls short, emphasising the importance of **self awareness**. Before trying to improve **communication skills** in **relationships**, focus on **self love** and **personal growth**. This clip touches on as

with The Paradox of Change

LIVE... We delve into the complex dynamics of recovery from betrayal, particularly in the context of infidelity. Lottie Passell-Syms discusses the emotional turmoil experienced by both the betrayed and the betrayer, outlining a structured recovery process that includes understanding the affair's imp

with The Paradox of Change

"Exploring sexless marriage and relationship advice from experienced therapists. Should you stay in a sexless marriage? Is choosing to opt out of intimacy in your marriage fair? "Should you stay in a sexless marriage? Is the psychology of choosing to opt out of intimacy in your marriage fair? As r

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

In this live session, Lottie dives into the vital role of regular check-ins in relationships, comparing them to an MOT for cars. She highlights the need for open communication, emotional ties, and understanding personal needs within a partnership. Lottie tackles various relationship elements, includ

with The Paradox of Change

We have an honest talk with with Poppy Tiltman, who's here to share her perspective on disability without the usual sugar-coating. In this candid episode, Poppy makes one thing clear from the start: she doesn't want to be your inspiration, and she's not here to make you feel good about yourself - th

with The Paradox of Change

Hurt People Hurt People - Overcoming Defensive and Stonewalling Behaviour's and the importance of boundaries in relationships. Chapter 6 ONLY Relationship Advice takeaways Triggers in relationships often stem from childhood experiences. Emotional safety is crucial for vulnerability in relationship

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The secret to lasting love isn't about finding the perfect partner. There's one fundamental question that predicts whether your relationship will thrive or fail: "Can I be me with you?" If you are searching for relationship repair or relationship advice, this might be the show for you. In this deep

with Host

<p>In this episode, we explore the journey of understanding military anxiety, its impact, and everyday strategies to cope and heal.</p>

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

Is there a Crisis in Masculinity? Elliot and James Penny from Flex Your Feelings podcast, tackle one of today's most controversial topics head-on! In this honest conversation, we explore: - Why modern men feel lost and confused about their identity - How social media algorithms are warping masculi

with The Paradox of Change

The Relationship Podcast: There has to be an I before We Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth: You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others. Meet Your Guides: Elliot Burgess - Indivi

with The Paradox of Change

Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth: Their has to be an I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others! We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for

with The Paradox of Change

with The Paradox of Change

Welcome to the POC (The Paradox of Change), the Relationship Podcast and YouTube channel, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth: Their has to be an I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others! We believe in

with The Paradox of Change

Short Description: We are the relationship podcast - Dive deep into the complex world of infidelity as we explore whether happiness in relationships actually prevents cheating. This episode examines digital betrayal, micro-affairs, and the psychology behind why even content people stray. We discuss

with The Paradox of Change

Labiaplasty & Ozempic : Understanding the Surge in Popularity... Our resident therapist and coach, Fi, interviews Ciara Robinson, from London's prestigious Mayfair cosmetic surgery scene. Labiaplasty surgery consultations have surged among young women - but why? Our resident therapist Fi Sclif int

with The Paradox of Change

What are the warning signs of an eating disorder? In this episode, Lauren (therapist) shares her personal anorexia story and offers insights. She also touches on the heavy responsibility for kids can feel during family struggles, offering helpful parenting tips and discussing the impact on mental he

with The Paradox of Change

Expert Advice On Intimacy, Sex & Relationships. We discuss everything from dating, to love bombing vs limerence to conscious uncoupling. You may like 'Do Happy People Cheat?': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh-qO5lQg5U A conversation with sex and intimacy specialist Lottie Passell-Syms, hosted by

with The Paradox of Change

What if consciously choosing to pause your sex life could be the very thing that saves your relationship? How do I save our SEX LIFE? also of interest (Infidelity) https://youtu.be/Gh-qO5lQg5U We are the relationship podcast Summary: From Roommates to Romance... A deep dive into how couples can

with The Paradox of Change

We're exploring their definitions, the dynamics of micro affairs, and the emotional and physical impacts on relationships. Full episode here:https://youtu.be/Gh-qO5lQg5U In the FULL episode Lottie and Elliot touch on the changing dynamics of relationships and the rising prevalence of affairs. In th

with The Paradox of Change

Affairs and Sex Therapist, explores the definitions, the dynamics of micro affairs, and the emotional and physical impacts on relationships. The thrill and dopamine effects associated with infidelity, Episode 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6JUnK131nI&t=1250s The Relationship Podcast... Elliot

with The Paradox of Change

The hidden crisis of male mental health in 2025, a theme that resonates deeply with Netflix's groundbreaking series 'Adolescence'. Like the show's exploration of digital age masculinity, You might also like: https://youtu.be/6inNHQKrX-Q Our conversation with BetterHelp therapist Richard Whitensta

with The Paradox of Change

Why do people cheat, can couples repair trust after an affair? In this episode we explores infidelity, emotional affairs, attachment theory, and the complex emotions of betrayal. Can we be friends with our EX? https://youtu.be/3TV40eTUa5s 🔎 Topics Covered: ✅ Types of Affairs: Emotional, Physic

with The Paradox of Change

Episode 21: The Truth About Infidelity, Affairs, & Healing Relationships 💔 Why do people cheat? How does limerence (obsessive attraction) impact relationships? Can couples repair trust after an affair? In this episode of The Paradox of Change, Elliot Burgess explores infidelity, emotional affairs,

with The Paradox of Change

Discover "The Playbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Working with Couples," a transformative workshop series designed to empower therapists with the skills, tools, and confidence to excel in couples therapy. Led by renowned relationship therapist Lottie Passell-Syms and mindfulness coach Fi Sclif, this

with The Paradox of Change

“Change doesn’t happen unless you make it happen.” In this special year-end episode of The Paradox of Change podcast, Elliot, Lottie, and Fi reflect on the transformative journey of 2024, sharing personal stories, professional breakthroughs, and key lessons from their work in therapy, coaching, and

with The Paradox of Change

This week Elliot and Geri explore the emotional challenges many face during the Christmas and New Year holidays, particularly focusing on grief, family dynamics, and the increase in domestic violence. The discussion highlights coping strategies, the importance of support systems, and the need for

with The Paradox of Change

In this episode, Lottie and Elliot explore the importance of honesty and integrity in RELATIONSHIPS, particularly when dealing with past heartaches. We emphasise ACCOUNTABILITY for one's actions and delve into the complexities of maintaining friendships with former partners, offering RELATIONSHIP AD

with The Paradox of Change

Rob Tearle, engineer to therapist, highlighting the importance of addressing male mental health issues, societal pressures on masculinity, the stigma surrounding therapy, whilst remembering to be a controlled monster! Jordan Peterson Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gYpCIbZjUQ We dive into mo

with The Paradox of Change

We delve into the complexities of relationships, focusing on defensiveness, communication, and the impact of generational trauma, covering the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as identified by John Gottman - discussed also in episode 023 (Do Happy People Cheat) https://youtu.be/Gh-qO5lQg5U We cover

with The Paradox of Change

"Why the F*CK would I talk about FEELINGS" as we dive into the societal pressures that affect our mental health and explore the benefits of integrative therapy. Let's break the stigma together! Therapist Al shares his personal journey into the world of therapy, discussing the challenges he faced wit

with The Paradox of Change

Challenges and Growth, Self-acceptance, coming out as gay, defining love as unconditional acceptance of oneself and others. The inner child within us all. If you valued what james covered, heres an earlier show: https://youtu.be/PpnPM_0GSQ8?si=1Ghxs7kRi-gXltDv Significant Insights: * Emphasises

with The Paradox of Change

Geri Carey shares her journey from business and leadership to becoming a therapist, coach, author, and academic researcher in authenticity. We cover topics such as the transition to online therapy and the process of being cracked open! If you want to hear a similar story, from a buddying therapist,

with The Paradox of Change

Fi and Rum discuss various topics related to relationships, coaching, and therapy. They explore the dynamics of conversations and the importance of sharing more in order to build connections. Elliot shares his journey into coaching and his focus on relationships. They discuss the experience of ghost

with The Paradox of Change

Our resident couples therapist, and psychosexual counsellor, Lottie, explores the world of couple therapy and the importance of training, supervision, and collaboration in this field with our guest, Sam Walton. The speakers discuss the journey of becoming couple therapists and the benefits of workin

with The Paradox of Change

Summary In this episode, the hosts speak to members of the public about their emotions and mental health. They discuss topics such as happiness, the importance of family, coping with anxiety and depression, and finding positivity in challenging times. The conversation also touches on the impact of

with The Paradox of Change

We speak to members of the public in Southampton about their emotions and mental health. They discuss the importance of family, job satisfaction, and coping with anxiety and depression. All in a Southampton Accent! The conversations also touches on the impact of COVID-19 on mental health and the ne

with The Paradox of Change

Our resident Sex and Relationship therapist Lottie, talks about her recent Guardian publication and the message promoting a healthier way of thinking to find the ONE. Here's the link to the full artical: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/jan/01/how-to-find-the-love-of-your-life-after-60

with The Paradox of Change

Our resident Sex and Relationship therapist Lottie, talks about her recent Guardian publication and the message promoting a healthier way of thinking to find the ONE.

with The Paradox of Change

A very quick shout out to say thank you for following us! We truly appreciate it...

with The Paradox of Change

What an incredible session with James Penney! Today's talk reminded us that counseling is not just a path to overcoming life's hurdles but can also be a fun, exciting, and deeply fulfilling journey. James encourages us all to be the best versions of ourselves, embracing our imperfections that make u

with The Paradox of Change

Therapist Karen Prouton discusses sensory assessments and support for autistic individuals. She challenges misconceptions about autism and emphasises the importance of understanding autism as a difference rather than a list of deficits. Karen explains the concept of monotropism and how autistic peop

with The Paradox of Change

Exploring the profound journey of healing after losing a spouse to cancer. This powerful episode discusses how to survive life after death. If you like this, try: https://youtu.be/9jiyHpO3dxw 🔹 Finding hope after losing a spouse 🔹 How therapy helps with grief recovery 🔹 Building a support system

with The Paradox of Change

Welcome to a very special edition of #TheParadoxOfChange, coming to you from the heart of London, overlooking the serenity of the River Thames. Today, we're zooming in on a global mission that's bigger than all of us – Project Rescue Children. 🌍🕊️ Your host today, the dedicated UK Director Chris

with The Paradox of Change

Join us for an illuminating interview with Leilah Mirza, a gifted holistic therapist, healer, and presenter. Discover her unique tools for client transformation and delve into the intriguing Paradox of Change. Based in Southampton and serving clients worldwide, Leilah is on a mission to help you un

with The Paradox of Change

In this exclusive interview, we dive deep into the transformative journey of Scott O’Shea, a remarkable entrepreneur who bravely opens up! Join us as we explore Scott's entrepreneurial path, his vulnerability surrounding mental health, and how he has become a pillar of support for his community wit

with The Paradox of Change

Lottie, co-host and co-founder, psychosexual, therapist and couples counsellor, interviews, personal trainer, Nicky Taylor about the importance and benefits of physical health and the connection to a sexual and mental health. 🌱pelvic floors 🌱breathe work 🌱variety of exercises-muscle mass/buildin

with The Paradox of Change

A podcast dedicated to Mental Health and well being, with practitioners, entrepreneurs an even clients we've worked with historically. Today marks a milestone in our podcast as this is our first recording. We hope you enjoy our introduction with Fi Sclif and resident Coach & Web Designer and Lotti

with The Paradox of Change

A podcast dedicated mental health with practitioners, entrepreneurs and clients, who have found a path for growth and awareness. Our first video. Oh what a journey to get to this point...

with Professional Therapist and Survivor

In this deeply personal episode, our guest, a professional therapist who has battled anorexia, shares her journey through the struggles of this eating disorder. She discusses the signs of anorexia, offers insights into the recovery process, and provides valuable resources for families and individuals who may be dealing with similar challenges.