About The Paradox of Change
The Paradox of Change is a couples therapy and relationship advice channel hosted by three practising therapists: Lottie (sex and intimacy specialist), Elliot, and Fifi. We help you make sense of trust issues, affair recovery, sexual rejection, low libido, sexless relationships and the patterns that keep you stuck, with warmth, clarity and accountability. We believe there has to be an I before We, because stronger relationships start with a stronger relationship with yourself. If you are ready to move from watching to changing, book a discovery call or a session and we will help you find the right support.
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."— Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person
Three therapists, one place to start
First and foremost, we are three therapists here to help. The content is the doorway, not the destination. If something you have watched or listened to has landed for you, the next step can be personal support, with a real person, in a way that fits your life.
Between us, we bring different specialisms, including relationship and psychosexual therapy, couples counselling, and person-centred and psychodynamic work, alongside practical coaching around growth, mindset and money. That range means we can help you find the right counsellor for you, rather than squeezing you into a one size fits all approach.
What we believe
We are warm, direct and non-performative. We do not do quick fixes, guru energy or empty reassurance. We believe in compassion with boundaries, accountability without shame, and practical tools that you can actually use.
Our work is shaped by an "I before We" lens. Healthy relationships are built on self-awareness, self-worth and emotional responsibility. Whether you are trying to repair trust, rebuild intimacy, navigate separation, or simply feel more like yourself again, the starting point is often the same — understanding your patterns and choosing what you want to do differently.
Meet Your Guides
Elliot Burgess
Individual therapist specialising in men's mental health and the foundational 'I' work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms
Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the 'We' journey
Fifi Sclif
Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover
Self-Discovery
Learn how a deeper understanding of yourself leads to relationship mastery.
Couples Therapy
Proven techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust.
Practical Tools
Actionable advice for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication.
Identity Development
Insights into masculinity, femininity, and finding your authentic self.
Abuse Recovery
Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity.
Life Transitions
Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting.
Content You Can Expect
Our Mission
Our mission is to bring therapy-quality conversations to a wider audience, and to make support feel more accessible, more human and more effective. We want people to feel less alone, more resourced, and more capable of creating change that lasts.
As The Paradox of Change grows, we will bring additional therapists into the space and create more networking and collaboration opportunities, so that more people can find the right fit and more practitioners can do meaningful work together.
Our Journey
From an idea between three therapists to a growing platform — here's how The Paradox of Change has evolved.
…
Total Views
…
Subscribers
…
Total Videos
Total Views Growth
Mid 2023Podcast launchesThe Paradox of Change podcast launches, introducing the "I before We" framework.
Late 2025Viral breakthroughA spike in views and subscribers accelerates channel growth.
19 Mar 20262,000 subscribersGrowth continues — 2,000 subscribers reached.
13 Jul 2026500,000 ViewsHalf a million total views reached!
16 Jul 2026550,000 Views550K total views — momentum keeps building.← scroll to explore →
Not sure where to start?
That's completely normal. Book a discovery call and we'll help you work out what you need and who is best placed to support you.
You don't have to have the perfect words — you just have to take the first step.